


Sick of Pretending

by lackadaisically



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 12:37:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5785606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lackadaisically/pseuds/lackadaisically
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe things were not as black-and-white as Craig initially thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sick of Pretending

_It's just pretend._ Craig Tucker use to tell himself this every day. A reminder that even though the town was crazy, what was happening between him and Tweek wasn't real. They were not really a gay couple. It was a front to keep the town happy and off their backs. He couldn't profess to being entirely happy about the arrangement when it started, still believing himself to be completely heterosexual at the time. Tweek didn't seem to mind. After all, getting back together was his idea. Actually, Tweek seemed to relax. He became less jittery around Craig; less afraid. He all but stopped his spastic outburst when he was near. Seemed to become another person.

It's been years since then, and even after the town came back from that strange period of political correctness, they continued the charade. Sitting next to each other during assemblies, hanging out after school, and occasionally holding hands in the hallways. The girls seemed to love it, and he could recall one of them saying something to him during his freshman year of high school that if it wasn't for Tweek, she would have loved to be his girlfriend. It would have affected him differently when he was younger, maybe even caused him to for-real dump his fake-boyfriend. Puberty had set in by then, and Craig had noticed a strangeness about himself—a thought that made him consider that maybe his sexuality wasn't as black and white as people wanted him to believe it was. Of course he often caught himself staring at girls, day dreaming of things all teenage boys do. However, it didn't matter how  _straight_ Craig believed he was, he found himself genuinely caring about Tweek. About his emotions, his struggles, his eccentricities, his well being.

It occurred to him that he may just be bisexual after a discussion with Kenny behind the school gym. They leaned themselves against the dumpsters behind the school, smoking on a pack of cigarettes Kenny had lifted off his father. "Maybe you're bi." Kenny had said to Craig after the latter mentioned something about about a supposed hypothetical confusion. Kenny was always perceptive. "It happens,man. Some people tend to accept it a lot easier than others. Take me for example. I just like sex! I don't care if I get it from a guy or a girl. Sex is sex, and sex is amazing." Kenny explained, coming from him it almost sounded logical.

"I don't look at Tweek that way." Craig replied, taking a long draw off the cigarette hanging between his fingers. "I think about it with chicks all the time. It may have crossed my mind once or twice, but with him... it's different."

"Yeah! That's because you love him!" Kenny replied with an amused chuckle. Craig cocked back a balled up a fist in warning, and Kenny chortled. "Don't hate me because I'm right!"

Craig mumbled under his breath, and let his arm drop down to his side and took another drag from his cigarette. Kenny had become a weird kind of confidant over the years, and he would often discuss things with the boy. Craig had come to value Kenny's advice.

"Look man, I get it." Kenny said, flicking the butt of his cigarette off to the side, forgotten. "You and Tweek started this thing to get the town off your back. I don't blame you for that, but no one is forcing you at this point and you two are still at it! Why do you think that is?"

Craig just offered a shrug and finished his cigarette off with a long draw,then mirrored Kenny's action and flicked it away. "Who knows." he replied, his nasally monotone leaking his irritation.

"I'll tell you why." Kenny replied, not one to be perturbed. "You two actually have feelings for each other. Honest to god, raw ass feelings. I've seen how you two are, how you guys look at each other. It's like... relationship goals, man." Kenny laughed as embarrassment swelled in Craig's face, painting his cheeks a rosy shade of pink. "But you two are still doing this weird dance, man. It's like—he's completely unsure of your feelings for him, and you don't seem too sure, yourself. You don't want to hurt him, so you two still play like you're pretending to be together, when honestly man... I think it stopped being a pretend thing long ago."

"We are pretending." Craig snorted.

"You guys went to something else long ago, but are so used to it you don't know how to stop." Kenny corrected, any hint of amusement leaving him.

"What makes you such a damn expert, McCormick?!" Craig demanded with his hands balled up in anger at his waist.

"Relax,dude." Kenny held his hands up defensively, but he wasn't backing down from the subject. "I'm just trying to help."

"Doing a damn good job at it." Craig spat sarcastically.

Kenny took the hint, and let his hands down in defeat. "Okay, fine. One more question and I'll leave you alone. Have you kissed him yet?"The question took Craig off guard, and he recoiled.

"No." Craig replied.

"Then break up with him." Kenny said, pushing away from the dumpster he was leaning on. "Unless you don't want to... in which case kiss him, see how it feels. That's my advice." Kenny finished and walked off, leaving Craig with a bummed cigarette and a sour taste in his mouth.  
  


* * *

The conversation with Kenny had stewed in his brain all day when the bell finally rang.  _Just kiss him._ Kenny had said it like it was the easiest thing in the world. Kenny had no clue the intricacies involved when dealing with Tweek, but something in Craig's mind kept nagging him that Kenny may actually know what he is talking about. Craig never thought about kissing Tweek. It was something his mind had made taboo after they started fake-dating. A line that his confused brain had drawn. One that he never intended to cross. Craig couldn't place why, but just the idea made him nervous almost to the point of anxiety, and made his stomachache in a strange way. When the Tweek approached his locker, Craig nearly lost his shit. He jumped, and almost dropped his books on the ground.

"Oh Jesus, man! Are you okay?" Tweek sputtered, his nervous twitching almost a thing of the past.

Craig glanced at him after shutting his locker. "I'm fine." he lied,shoving his books into his backpack and tossing it onto one of his shoulders.

"Are we still hanging out this afternoon?" Tweek asked, fingers nervously musing with the buttons of his shirt.

"Sure." Craig replied. "Are your parents letting you off a little earlier than usual?"

Tweek shook his head ardently. "Y-yeah man!" he replied, "I'm so excited, dude! I can't wait to watch you play Fallout 4." Craig nodded, and said nothing. They developed a routine over the years. Craig would usually walk with Tweek to his family's coffeehouse,sometimes staying around to help out. Most of the time he walked from the shop. Every so often they would meet up in the afternoon's at either one of their families homes (but usually Tweek's) to play video games. Even more rarely, they would make their journey holding hands. Tweek wasn't the one who usually initiated this, but when he extended a hand anxiously Craig was too lost in thought and grabbed it out of reflex.

Lucky South Park is a small town. The walk to Tweak Bros. Coffee wasn't along one. Craig listened as Tweek eagerly spoke of things he heard about the game, and the new blend they were serving at their shop. Atone point, Tweek paused to look at Craig with concern. "Are you sure you're okay, man?" Your hand is really sweaty." Craig hadn't noticed, he was too caught up in his own thoughts that the perspiration of his hand wasn't a concern. "Yeah. Fine. Just thinking." Craig responded, taking his hand from Tweek's grip and smearing the moisture on his pant lag.

"Gah!I—is it that bad?" Tweek worried, fidgeting his hands in front of him.

"No." Craig assured, taking one of the fidgeting hands with his and lacing fingers together. The action caused his chest to tighten, his heartbeat thudding like a jackhammer in his chest. "You don't need to worry, dude." Craig barely managed without his voice cracking. Tweek nodded, and dropped the subject.

"I'll see you around seven?" Craig asked as they neared the coffeehouse. Tweek nodded, bid his farewell and entered the shop. It didn't take Craig long to get home, but it was almost dusk before he arrived. He entered and announced his presence to his parents before absconding to his room. From there he did as every teenager would: killed time by alternating between catching up on late homework and playing on his phone while repeat episodes of Red Racer played on television in the background of his room.

Tweek was there by seven, like he said he would be. He greeted Craig cheerfully as he was invited inside. "My parent's ordered us a pizza. It'll probably be here in fifteen minutes." Craig said, and the blond nodded and followed Craig to the couch where they sat and waited for the food to arrive. Craig's parents announced themselves before entering the room, and explained to the two teens they had decided to catch a movie tonight, maybe even a late dinner. Craig nodded, and his father gave him some money to cover the cost of the food. "We'll be back by nine. Behave while we're gone, boys." Thomas, Craig's father, instructed as he and his wife left the two teens sitting on the couch.

"Gah! What was that about?" Tweek asked, bewildered.

"No clue. Maybe because we're teenagers, and together." Craig guessed.

"But we're not really together, Craig!" Tweek said.

"They don't know that." Craig replied, and Tweek resigned to fidget with his hands in front of him, then a sharp knock came from the door and caused him to jump.

"Chill, dude. That's the food." Craig said, and picked himself up from the couch, grabbed the money his parents left him, and paid for their food, telling the delivery guy to keep the change. They ate in silence, Craig eating a bit faster than the fidgeting boy. Once they finished, Craig turned to the blond in his company. "I have a question."

Tweek turned his eyes to him, worry plastering his features. He sat the half eaten slice back down on the box and responded. "Oh Jesus! What is it?"

Craig honestly didn't know how to proceed. He had been distracted by the notion of kissing Tweek all day. He thought about just doing it—planting his lips on Tweek's with little thought to the repercussions, but he quickly decided against that. He discarded all of his second thoughts, and steeled his nerve. "Can I kiss you?"

The question caught Tweek off guard and he cried: "Gah! Why would you want to do that?" His fidgeting grew worse. "I—don't know man! I've never kissed anyone before!" he lamented. "Why—I know we're just pretending, Craig. You don't have to—!"

"I'm sick of pretending." Craig said, cutting Tweek off before he could continue his worry. "I just need to know if what I've been feeling is real."

"What you've been feeling?" Tweek questioned, eyes darting around the room, looking at everything but Craig.

"Yeah." Craig responded, feeling heat bloom in his cheeks. "I like spending time with you, Tweek. We've actually become closer since we were ten, and I consider you one of my best friends. I just need to know if my feelings are real. I can't do that by being your fake-boyfriend."

"But you're not gay!" Tweek replied indignantly, his face betraying him with flustered features.

"That doesn't mean I can't develop feelings for someone who I've been pretending to date for five years." Craig explained, and the blush on Tweek's face darkened.

"What if you don't like it?" Tweek questioned.

"I won't know if we don't try." Craig reasoned, but Tweek still looked unsure.

"I don't—I don't know, man. This is too much! Too much pressure!" Tweek was ready to bolt but before he could Craig laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder, and he started to calm from the touch.

"Relax, Tweek. I'm not going to force you, and if we don't like it, we don't have to do it again. Nothing has to change." Craig explained, and Tweek finally looked at him in the eyes. Craig saw how unsure the blond looked.

"Okay..." Tweek responded, softly nodding his head. He closed his eyes tightly, and pursed his lips together.

After a moments hesitation Craig cupped the blond's cheek with his right hand, leaned his upper body forward while pulling Tweek until their lips touched. It was quick, and the feeling of Tweek's chapped lips trembling against his set caused something in his chest to tighten and butterflies in his stomach to flap their wings erratically. A spark of excitement spread through Craig's body to confirm that yeah,he was definitely into it. When he pulled back to gauge Tweek's reaction he was surprised to see him still trembling slightly with his eyes closed and lips mashed together in a thin line. The sight didn't last long as Tweek's eyes snapped open suddenly.

"Well?" Tweek asked apprehensively.

Craig didn't respond, instead he pulled the blond in and mashed their lips together once again. It startled Tweek, and he made a muffled noise against Craig as he awkwardly melded their lips together, trying to convey that he did enjoy it. After Tweek got over his initial response, he puckered his lips against Craig's, and his hands reached out to grip the blue fabric of Craig's jacket.

This kiss lasted for an extended span of seconds, but to them it felt like eternity. Eventually when they departed, both of their faces stained with embarrassment, minds still processing what happened. Craig was the first to regain his faculties. "How was it?" he questioned quietly.

Tweek took longer, but after a few moments he seemed to snap from his reverie. "Good," he supplied. "It—It felt good."

"Good," Craig replied, still feeling Tweek's lips on his. "I liked it too."

"So—what—what does this mean for us?" Tweek asked.

Craig shrugged, and leaned back in his seat. "I don't know. I'd like for it to mean we can stop faking and actually go out on a date sometime."

"You want that?" Tweek asked hesitantly.

"Yeah." Craig said. He was sure of it, he knew it would change their relationship, maybe to where they appeared more genuine. People would notice when Craig decided he wanted to kiss Tweek in public, but Craig didn't give a fuck. As long as Tweek didn't have a problem with it, neither did he.

 "Me too." Tweek said, scooting his body closer to Craig until he was able to rest his forehead against Craig's collarbone. Tweek trembled softly—why Craig didn't know, but they subsided when he lifted his hand and began to rub at the blond's back. Tweek made a content noise in his chest that made Craig's heart ache and he came to a light-bulb moment: Kenny knew what he was talking about. Craig was in love with Tweek. The thought didn't upset him as it did when Kenny had brought it up. It made him happy; happier than he was when they started their charade. Which after five years, was now completely worth it.

 


End file.
